UK Air Guitar Championships 2009 - Final Night

On Tuesday 29th September 2009 the final took place...

The regulars showed up to play out their rock anthems, but also alot of new faces were about this year. Good to see some young talent about in the form of Shere Khan and Selador Vonnet, but this year was the year of the oldies. 'Trousers' who is a regular air guitar offender took up the challenge and made it all the way to the final to duel against 'Deku Chan'. The combined age of the pair of them was around 80, so no new tricks here but a performance with generations of experience.

The Contestants

	Air Force The duo more commonly known as Hudson Lister and Chris Wilberforce took part this year for the first time. Chris Wilberforce is the great great grandson of William Wilberforce who lead the abolition of slavery, Colin Frith played him in the film Amazing Grace. Rubbish at Air Guitar but had the passion. 'Monkey wrench' by the Foo Fighters was their tune of choice.
	Ant Mastia Ant is a first timer at the championships, despite little experience he put on a highly illuminating display of air to the theme of 'Get your hands off my woman' by the Darkness. The man has the hairiest back the world has seen.
	Axle Wingman Scott Allcock is his name, a General in the un-armed forces. By far won costume of the night, he found it tricky to move about in his heels but made Metallica proud of his rendition of a classic.
	Brandy Brewer AKA the Zoo Mag model, always saw herself one day performing in an air guitar championships and she moved like a gazelle. We loved Brandy Brewer and Zoo Magazine and we think you did too!
	Deku Chan Declan Gillick, the current Irish champion came to Brighton from Dublin to try to take the UK trophy with him. All the ingredients were there for a superb final. Deku Chan chose to rock out to 'Gay bar' by Electric Six.
	Eagle Air Band Eagle Air Band - Pete and Jo had no hopes or fears whatsoever as they turned up on the night and begged to have a go. They had moves, some odd ones but did well to 'Ace of Spades' by Motorhead.
	Fathered by Fritzl Joe and Jack had the sickest name of the night and quite possibly the sickest dress code. The pair were undeniably crowd pleaser unlike their dad. 'Paradise City' by Gun's and Roses was their choice.
	Glory Katie Leech, a serial performer in the south east of England gave soft southerners a new identity with her mad attitude towards her instrument. Rock has big things for Glory, she slapped out 'BYOB' by System of a Down.
	Selador Vonnet David Mullan, a young talented air guitarist, not too big with the audience but i feel next year could open up for him and the bouncing quiff. Carefully brought his air guitar in a gig bag and savagely desroyed it mid song. 'Bow Down' by Born of Osiris was the culprit.
	Shere Khan Tom, a natural air guitarist and mentalist. Saves nothing for later and gives it everything, again bigger things await Tom next year i feel. He crunched through 'All hope is gone' by Slipknot.
	Sick and Twisted Pip and Stocky put together a not very well rehersed version of 'Basket Case' by Greenday and jusging by the matching t-shirts they wanted this title. Individual showmanship overpowered the wannabe air band.
	Stevie Buquich Stevie Buquich - There are many things you need in air guitar, one is balance. Failing that then the ability to make a fall look good, Stevie had neither. But the man put in the groundwork on his tune and has potential. 'To the rats' by Trivium.
	Trousers A true man of mystery. He's been involved in air guitar for years yet no-one knows his name, a former semi finalist with air bandmate 'pants' and a real threat this year even though he's in his 50's. Some classic Status Quo graced our ears this year with 'Down down'.
	Twanga Joe Steven Gagola, been around the air guitar circuit a few times and has yet to win, he's always been near the top of the game, even to the final in 2008, just needs to stop insulting the audience and he may make it to lift the trophy. 'Gay bar' by Electric Six was his choice and a popular one for many this year.
	Wellard Andrew 'Wellard' Weller is another air legend, continues to chuck himself into every years competition in desperate hope of air rock stardom, came close one year when a local paper got the pictures of him and the winner 'Cozza' mixed up. 'All my life' by the Foo fighters, an epic for a veteran.

Round by Round

First Round

Ant Mastia kicked off this round and did quite well but the crowed this year seemed to be loving the air bands and it pushed some of the weaker solo acts out. The likes of Air Force and Weller fell by the wayside early leaving others to pounce on their lack of moves. It almost looked like the contest was stale this year but then Selador Vonnet and Shere Khan stepped up to the plate to get it moving. Then the cobwebs went and so did the half the contestants.

The Quarter Finals

After a short break it was Trousers vs Twanger Joe and the experience was too much for the Twanger and Trousers walked through, but not without Twanger Joe giving the audience a piece of his mind. Brandy Brewer sailed through the quarter final to come up against the Eagle Air Band, who were terrible, but the crowd loved them and they went on through. Fathered by Fritzl were overpowered by Glory and Deku Chan made Axle Wingman look like a has been. The Wingman knew he was beaten but backed Deku Chan to take the title.

The Semi Finals

Trousers and Eagle Air Band were up first, after 90 seconds the audience was given the vote, but it was a draw. Then another 30 seconds of music... Still a draw, and another 30 seconds and still a draw. But when we all thought hope was gone, Jo from the Eagle Air Band started playing with herself in a desperate attempt to get the crowd on her side, but the audience could see straight through it and Trousers cleaned up. Deku Chan met glory in the other Semi and Glory by this point in the contest had run out of moves and Deku Chan never looked like he was going to run out of moves or energy and Glory made way for our 2nd finalist.

The Final

So it was between the well dressed Trousers in his 50's and an Irishman set on world domination in the form of Deku Chan. The 90 Seconds played out, with both contestant gasping for air the audience deliberated and the battle was over, the war won. Trousers lifted the hand of Deku Chan as an early sign of defeat and he was right to do so. Deku Chan worked tirelessly through every round and gave the audience new suprises and mystery moves all the way to the end. It was then to Colin 'Cozza' Fulker to hand Deku Chan the trophy. Cozza who had held the title since 2006 to the present day handed over the trophy and title of UK Air Guitar Champion of 2009 to Deku Chan.

UK Air Guitar Champions

2017	Possibly You??
2016	Crispy (Posthumous)
2015	The Bandit
2014	Dr Cock
2013	The Bandit
2012	Bruce Almighty
2011	Smokey Van Porno
2010	Eddie Six Strings
2009	Deku Chan
2008	Cozza
2007	Cozza
2006	Cozza
2005	Crispy
2004	Farmer John
2003	Tripple Slash ///
2002	Zac "Mr. Magnet" Monro
2001	Satan Whopper C*ck
2000	Satan Whopper C*ck
1999	Satan Whopper C*ck
1998	Piss
1997	Dum bn3
1996	Danny Sterling
1995	Jackass
1994	Someone must know him???